Prince Fielder in Detroit?

The karma feels obvious. His dad not only played for the Tigers, he accelerated in the Old English D, famously hitting 51 HR in 1990. I can only imagine a conversation between the two, in the process of their mending relationship, pointing Prince toward Detroit.

I eat a Reuben per day. 

Prince: Dad, why did you name me Prince?

Cecil: Cause I knew that I would be the King of Detroit as soon as you were born.

Prince: You did? I thought you were up north when I was born?

Cecil still likes to take BP at Comerica.

Cecil: Yes son, the Tigers won the world series in the year you were born, and while I was playing for that one Canadian team, I always wanted to play in Detroit.

Prince: Why would you want to play in Detroit? It is cold, it smells weird and the managers have classically been grumpy old men?

Cecil: One reason son... Zingerman's Delicatessen. It has the best Reuben in the world, and look at you, I know that you love a good Reuben as much as I do.

Prince: How many Reubens could you buy at 20 million a year for 10 years?

Cecil: Probably like a million son. And their mustard is incredible.

Prince: Ah... I see... That makes sense... What is Dave D's number?

Bottom line is that Prince Fielder is fat. Just like his dad was fat. The Ticket, out of Dallas, reported that he is 150 lbs over weight. 10 Years with Prince, eating a Reuben a day, would mean 3650 Reubens and an added 15 lbs a year. In 2022 that would put him at 450 lbs... After a week long fast. Due to his weight, we can not give the Prince a long term contract. He will break down as he ages and he carries that extra weight. As much as we may want him to be, he is not the answer to Victor Martinez. Let's keep looking for something better.